illuminati master

Nicolas cage AkA Illuminati master, has came to your school. I being a fangirl of Nicolas Cage ran to him and gave him the Illuminati handshake. He acted like he didn't know about it but he later pulled me aside and gave me a map of a treasure that pointed to the secret Illuminati cave that was in Washburn. He then told me that he had been looking for the town named washburn and i would be surprised how many Washburns there were. He knew it was this one because it was the last Washburn in the world. He gave it to me beacause i was the first Illuminati believer he saw and that i would know the town better than anyone. I then began searching  and found it beneath the old sicilys inside there cellar. I didnt know they were Illuminati as well! Once i found the treasure it was a golden pizza cutter that had the all seeing eye on it. As if on cue Nicolas came behind me and said "well i guess we cant split this huh?" Then he tried to steal it and right as he touched it he turned into a pizza. I then knew the trap was gone and grabed the pizza cutter and cut him up with it. It was the best pizza ever and the pizza cutter could talk so i made a new friend. As i soon realized i could turn it into anything i wanted. And this is how the king of memes was killed.